Goodbye Karnak (An actor's musings on his character)

I woke up this morning missing something. This wasn’t unexpected as Ann is away on business, but as I read her messages and sent some back, I came to realize that wasn’t the missing experience I awoke with. She’ll be home tomorrow, but I was missing something I didn’t expect back. I just finished a run of Ride the Cyclone with my friends, so perhaps I was just missing being in the show and working with my friends. But that’s a familiar experience too, and this didn’t quite fit the bill. After sitting with things for a few minutes, I realized I missed guiding my flock. Which is interesting because 'I' didn’t guide any flock. My experience with my fellow actors was not one of guide; I got more guidance from them than they got from me. We were coworkers, co-conspirators, and friends. Nevertheless, guiding my flock is what I was missing. 

Karnak is a very interesting character. As a precognition machine, he is both a participant and narrator for the show. While the part could simply be read as a machine without ruining the show, you would have to ignore some important aspects to do so. Written into the part is a fair amount of (drought dry, sometimes sarcastic) humor. So, does Karnak have a sense of humor? Maybe. Karnak is not reliable. The information he gives can be misleading or subject to change without prior notice. It isn’t a big stretch even to claim Karnak as dishonest. He has a goal/job. His work is to evoke self-honesty and self-acceptance from his charges before they move on to whatever comes next. But he doesn’t do so from a sense of principle as you or I might. He doesn’t need to be honest to evoke honesty, and he doesn’t need to be nice or fair to evoke self-acceptance. This is not the end justifying the means, it’s more like a declaration that (there, in that part of the after-life) the means are irrelevant. So, is Karnak a good guy? Maybe. 

Karnak is a conniving manipulator whose goal is something we consider to be good. Karnak (as I played him) did have feelings, but not the way most people do. Karnak did not really have free will. He did and said what he did and said because that’s what needed to happen next to manipulate the kids in the right way. There was no need to worry or fret, no indecision or guilt, and no reticence to lie or pressure to tell the truth. But the fulfillment and relief Karnak felt when any step was taken toward self-honesty and acceptance was profound. So, in case you’re interested: David, during Mischa’s monologue, Karnak bent the entirety of his will to convince the audience of the defensibility and respectability of Mischa’s anger: when he described his grief with Canada, Karnak was angrily willing the audience on Mischa’s behalf to accept the guilt they are due. Caleb, even while being intolerant of the excuses and complaints Noel had to make, Karnak admired the intensity with which Noel experienced the world and knew it was not only a story he needed to tell, but a story people needed to hear. Carina, Karnak got Ocean to be truthful pretty early on, but that wasn’t enough. My how he rejoiced when Constance taught her to pay attention to how much she valued other people too: what a boob punch! Emma, Karnak felt a profound sadness for Jane’s lost life, but also quite a lot of intrigue for the girl who seemed so similar to him in some ways. “There, but for the grace of patent-holders, go I.” Chris, Karnak was amazed at the depth and involvement of Ricky’s fantasies; he willed the audience to understand the monumental accomplishment of Ricky’s overwhelmingly positive experience amongst the trials of his life. Kelly, I had a little bit of trouble separating my reactions to Constance from Karnak’s because of how much I identify with her. But I can tell you this, while everyone was sobbing over her monologue and jawbreaker, Karnak was already rejoicing. Karnak knew that Constance turned the corner with the “most horrible possible way” line. It was at that point that Karnak knew he had successfully guided the kids to his goal. 

A side effect of being in Karnak’s head during all of that was that I (the actor) felt removed when we ran the sad parts of the show. Karnak was rarely sad when I would have been. So we’d finish a very sad part of rehearsal or the show, and I’d be the only one with dry eyes. This is an unusual theater experience for me. Fortunately, I was often sweating copiously from my well-insulated head, so I didn’t need to explain. ;) Karnak also felt great joy which he experienced and expressed through the curious human habit of dancing. It was a wonderful show. 

 

I usually go through a period of readjustment and grief at the end of a good show. I miss the people, routines, purpose, drama, responsibilities, and spectacle. I feel all those things for this show too. But today I woke up missing the act of guiding my flock. I was experiencing Karnak’s feelings. Rest easy Karnak, what comes after your death is just me. It doesn’t look like you’ll be forgotten anytime soon.