Preface: I'm a scientist. I recently tried an experiment that was meant to chemically cook a raw egg inside its shell. The experiment did not go as expected. I am also a fan of the works of Edgar Allen Poe.
The Facts in the Case of the Adulterated Ovum
A regular un-fertilized chicken egg was immersed in a weak acetic acid solution: common table vinegar, 3%. The immersion was conducted at room temperature for approximately 2 hours followed by an elevation of the temperature to 90 degrees Fahrenheit for another hour. The immersed egg was then refrigerated for approximately 24 hours until the calcified shell had wholly dissolved into the acid solution. At which point the egg rather resembled a child's translucent rubber ball, albeit ovoid in nature. The dissolution of the shell and the continuation of the substance of the whole was, at this point, curious, but not alarming as such and the occurrence was the desired and sought-for result.
What came next however defies expectation, and indeed has been resistant to any logical rigor to date. I, therefore, will not offer analysis, but merely state the facts in the case and allow the reader, more qualified, or more rash, to state the causes and predict the consequences.
With the intention of dehydrating the ovum, (for, without a shell, I can no longer call it an egg) now vulnerable to its surroundings and protected only by its thin membrane, the egg was immersed in a saturated salt solution. The solution, in fact, was so saturated to act like half brine, and half wet sand. In this environment, the first unexpected curiosity presented itself. The ovum sank. It being a well-known fact that a chicken's egg will float in salted water, and with the densest part of the egg removed, and with the water in question holding on to much more salt than even the oceans hold, this event surprised, nay, startled the investigator.
Investigations as they are, though, this one continued even amongst the unexpected revelation. As was stated above, the brine immersion was intended to dehydrated the ovum through osmotic processes well understood by practitioners of statistical natural philosophy. After two hours the ovum should have been dehydrated to such an extent as to wrinkle and deflate the now-flexible membrane containing the vitreous inside. Again, the investigation was met with surprise when the ovum displayed no deflation whatsoever. This surprise, being lesser than the first was duly noted and subsequently ignored. The ovum was allowed to sit immersed in brine for an additional 10 hours.
What fantastic results did obtain! Wonderful or horrific are, alas, too subjective as descriptors for this account of the facts; but, rest assured, the investigator felt strong emotions upon observing the ovum after 12 hours soaking in the brine. In direct defiance of statistical physics, the egg had not deflated at all. No water had seeped through the membrane. This curiosity was too acute to ignore. It was decided that the internal state of the ovum needed to be assessed. After some deliberation about the specifics of dissecting the internal structure of a raw egg, it was decided to put the egg into that peculiar stasis available to eggs by cooking. Accordingly, the ovum was immersed in a boiling water bath for approximately 20 minutes then cooled in cold water for one hour.
What wonders did my eyes then behold! For, though the ovum had been subject to sufficient heat to thoroughly cook the cell in its entirety, and though through the membrane one could clearly see that the ovum had turned the expected opaque white of cooked eggs, the consistency of the ovum as felt through the membrane was that of a completely uncooked egg. The phenomenon was sufficient to make the investigator doubt the very truth of what he had just done. Careful reconsideration was undertaken to reassure the investigator that the ovum had in fact been subject to more than enough heat to completely cook the contents of the membrane.
His curiosity no longer containable, an immediate assessment of the situation was sought. With careful deliberation the membrane, which was considerably tougher than had been thought, was breached. Upon said breaching, the membrane split with such immediacy that the contents could not be artfully detained, and what spilled forth into the sink again caused such consternation as to compel the investigator to conclude that his twice confirmed method had not imparted a tenth of the heat necessary to cook the contents of the ovum. The fluid thus expelled held all the earmarks of uncooked egg white, and only upon closer inspection could the minutest tendrils of what appeared to be very lightly cooked egg whites be seen suspended in the now-mysterious fluid. The immediate conclusion was that, through some extra insulatory property of the altered membrane, or through an undiscovered mistake of method, the ovum had not been heated hardly at all. The egg white appeared almost completely unaltered from the rawest of eggs.
Imagine then the astonishment, the awful wonder, the sheer disbelief, when from out of the sink was recovered an egg yolk apparently cooked to a perfect hard boil.
Many an answer has been put forth to explain these mysterious events, and none have yet satisfied the scientific mind. In the course of the evolution of the mystery and beliefs surrounding the raw cooked egg, I fear the facts of what actually transpired will be lost. For this reason I have set forth the simple facts in the case of the adulterated ovum, so that future minds can assess the case without wading through entire structures of (dis)belief.
-Andy Allen Poe
